EP 51: CHURCH NOT CHURCHES

Hey there, baby jokers! Ever wondered how to strut your stuff with the confidence of a high pony on a good hair day? Let's chat about self-love, the beauty of aging gracefully, and how to cope with those pesky noisy neighbors without losing your cool. Turning 26 has me reflecting on the joys of maturity, and I'm here to share how I'm keeping it together, from embracing those silver strands to handling the youthful chaos next door. Plus, we'll talk about finding your groove—even if you're dancing like a "drunk baby"—and the power of a killer makeup day to turn that frown upside down.

Strap in for some tail-wagging tales with my furry sidekick, Honey, and the hilarity that ensues when we navigate the boisterous kids in my complex. You'll hear about the challenges and charms of responsible pet ownership, and how a big-hearted pit bull can scatter a crowd faster than a fire drill. Then, I'll take you through my first foray into a vibrant church service, complete with stand-up-sit-down routines and sweaty worship fans. It's an honest look at navigating social norms and staying true to yourself amidst the spiritual energy.

To wrap things up, I'm extending a big, warm welcome to our new subscribers—you're my newbies, my fresh batch of baby jokers! Together, we'll explore personal testimonies, the fine line between spiritual fervor and safety, and our favorite church moments. So come along for a journey packed with growth, giggles, and real talk. Share those church-themed emojis, spread the podcast love, and remember, aging is an adventure we're all on, so let's embrace every silver, glittering moment of it!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome back to another episode of my life is a joke at Anya Ho's feed. What's up, baby jokers, what it is, what it ain't, nigga miss you like. Get into the loop, babe, get into it. I hate this bitch up, for those that are listening cannot see my fine, beautiful ass. You know the vibes. You know it's giving many twists. Ponytail high pony got a couple of strands down. You know it's giving classy women. I got olive green, one little gothic.

Speaker 1: 0:38

This three did my makeup real, fucking good, real fucking good. Got a lash on you know Cause the other day I was looking in the mirror and I just wasn't liking that girl I was seeing. I said I don't know, and then I seen the picture, cause, you know, I got my vision board in my bathroom and I got a picture on there where my makeup was done like real, real good, and I said I know that girl, I know that girl, let's get back to it, let's get back to it. So I did my makeup today and I'm feeling like that girl, that bitch, you know period can nail her fuck with me. You know the vibes. You know the fucking vibes.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Anyway, y'all, I hope everyone is doing well cause you know I missed you. You know I come back every Friday and I be miss you all. So I be gone for a little bit longer than that. But you know, my year is this. I be. I be going through some things. I feel like it's going to be a little rough. I be going through some things. I feel like it's going to be a little rough in 2024. You know what I'm saying? What's my little rapper name? Fee with the Beats? I don't fucking know. Look, that's producer tag. Look, okay, I have some stories to tell. I have some stories to tell. I know y'all love my story times. I know y'all love when I tell y'all a cute little key, key. So we're going to get into it.

Speaker 1: 1:47

So, y'all, I am turning 26 this year and it's something about that. That's just like that's kind of crazy. Like I'm really I'm very much so feeling like I wouldn't say like 16, but I do like. You know how people be like I'm just a girl, like, yeah, I'm just a girl, but I'm not like a girl. You know it's just giving young teen. You know what I'm saying. It's giving like 21, like 22. I don't feel like I'm 25, about to be 26. But you know what, though I am.

Speaker 1: 2:23

I'm like I feel like I'm the only person that like accepts like age and like, you know, getting older, like yeah, it's crazy, but I wouldn't like if I started growing like a whole bunch of gray hairs. I'm not going to be there growing a dial, I'm not. I'm going to just embrace the grays and the whites because I mean what the fuck that's me? You know what I mean. I'm just, I'm just embracing that. I don't be like it when people be you know, diamonds and stuff, like you know they be like I'm too young for them. I'm like girl who gives a fuck, who gives a fuck. Age and time is not fucking real. It's not real. It's not real. Your body just started doing that, just started growing gray and white hairs for whatever reason. You know what I'm saying. That'll mean I will fuck the fuck. But you know whatever, two inches on, I can't wait to get some gray hairs. I got a couple of strands but you know, I would love to be like a full gray, like a silver. I think they'd be so cute. Maybe a little same people like I don't know, I fuck with the gray hair. You know what I'm saying. I'm not finna be done Shit, it's just gonna be what it's gonna be Gray hair with a little silk purse. Come on, guys, get into it, okay. So yeah, I'm really turning into like an old woman.

Speaker 1: 3:32

And so yesterday, you know, I'm at home and it's like a whole bunch of kids like outside my door. Like you know, I stay in apartments and so we get out. It's a little city shit. It's a little city shit. So I'm all the way at the top and like it's like the kids are just like hanging out on like the steps and shit. And I'm not talking about like no, look kids, I mean like they in high school like but it's like 10 of their ass and it's loudest fucking. I'm just like what the fuck is going on.

Speaker 1: 4:05

And so I was on the phone with my sister and she was like you gonna call the police? Fuck, no, I'm not, no police, ass bitch. I don't want to call the police on their ass, I just want them to go to fuck home. You know what I'm saying. I'm not gonna call the police on them because they don't look like the ones that comply. You know what I'm saying. A motherfucker might fuck around and die, you know. You know they at that age where you know, they think they know every fucking thing, can't nobody tell them shit? I don't want to call the police on them, I just want their ass to go to fuck home.

Speaker 1: 4:29

And so, you know, I'm up in the house. You know, I'm up in the house with my good sister, honey you know. And in the babes the dog has to go outside, she has to pee bad, she has to pee real bad. And so I'm like, damn honey, like you know, we can't go out right now. You're gonna scare the fuck out them kids. You know what I'm saying, like you know. But she, like she's doing all that kind of shit. And I'm like, okay, honey, girl, we finna go, we finna go.

Speaker 1: 4:52

You know what I ain't finna, make you hold no piss, but you're gonna have to put your little collar on, because sometimes, when you see people, you forget that you got to get out of here and pee, you forget the whole mission, you forget what we came out here to do, because you know, at the end of the day I'm a fucking mother and you know you have to redirect, you know. So I put a little collar on and it's not a shot collar bitch, it's a vibration collar. That's what it is. It's not a shot collar. You can, you can come over here and you can feel it and it's just gonna vibrate your head. It's just to redirect and get her attention Because, like I said, she be acting new when we get outside and she see people and so I go out, I step out and I'm like you know you got to step out like the dogs, I don't know these things.

Speaker 1: 5:35

So I, you know I step outside and you know, honey, see they ass she real big, real big and bad and ugly. I'm not like honey, what the fuck is you doing? Baby, these fucking kids got a like wretches when the lights came on in this bitch, I does no fucking capping in my rapid. I'm fucking telling you, these bitches got the like getting the fuck out the way. I, baby, when I see God level, I holler because I said you bitches had no, y'all had no reasons to be over here. Don't nobody, don't none of y'all even stay over here. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 6:14

It's just like you know, when you stay somewhere for a little while, you can peep and know who your neighbor is a little bit. You know who your neighbor is, and so it is. It's like a couple of little kids that stay over here, but not enough for all of their ass to just be parlaying, like you know, key Ken, and hanging out on the motherfucking stairs. Baby, this ain't New York. You don't hang out on the brown star duck, this ain't a brown stone. These is the apartment's. Baby. You got stuff. You know, sam, we got the parking lot for that we got a little part. You know, take our ass to the park.

Speaker 1: 6:46

We got, like I feel like somewhere around this, motherfucker, it's a little gazebo for your ass to sit up under. Like go figure it the fuck out, but don't be standing in no volume and no sale, making a whole lot of fucking noise. Y'all disturbing my peace. And so everybody's scared like, oh my god, it's a dog. You know, and that being the thing about niggas that be pissing me off a little bit Everybody wanted pit bull, until they see a pit bull. Now everybody running and scrambling and shit Clutching, the clutching. They pearls bitch. You got that too, lee, in your bag. Get the fuck out of here. I already know y'all bitches got the blinky. So what you scared for I said damn, y'all scared like that. I said good morning. They just stirred in my head. I holly, it was so fucking funny. I said honey, and we should have just came out here early with that. It's got the fuck out there. They seem tough.

Speaker 1: 7:30

I should insert a little picture of my honey girl. She's, I'm gonna, I'm gonna insert a picture. This is my good babes, this is my babe, she's a cutie. You know saying she is biggest Fuck. I think I think I got I got on a skill. Though what the fuck? You saying I got on a skill with her and Just because I want to know how much she weighed and I think my motherfucker, like 85 pounds, like honey, is solid. She's pretty much. You know sense, this bill, the fuck is like a nigga on all fours and around this bitch.

Speaker 1: 7:56

You know saying like came, no bitch, walk up on me with my dog, can't nobody come up on me, nothing, that shit. You know saying cuz I think I'll get down to a shit, real hard, real ugly. You know saying she got that big boy. You know I'm saying you would have thought there was a little boy, grown-ass man, dog. You know I'm saying like but that's a lady, that's my honey. Then he was like that's my baby, I love her down, don't fuck with me, but I'm a one because I don't want her. All that fucking noise outside my door. Take your little ass, is the fuck home. And then I'm like it's a wins.

Speaker 1: 8:24

It's fucking Wednesday At 1 to 1 in the afternoon, ain't you little hole supposed to be at school? When I was in high school, motherfuckers wouldn't get out to 225, but I know it's later now because they be. Keep y'all ass in there, because y'all know how to go home and sit the fuck Down. Y'all get outside and want to turn the fuck up, so they gots to keep y'all in that school house a little longer. I Couldn't believe all. They asked my where the fuck it? What? What's going on? It's a half a day. What the hell y'all got going on and why y'all just sitting there? You know what I'm saying. It's a little rest around somewhere. I heard go go somewhere, go sit down, just in the fucking way, making all that damn nut. Yeah, old woman.

Speaker 1: 9:08

So anyway, that wasn't in the story time, that's just me telling how I'm getting becoming old. So I am in my grown woman era, my grown woman bag, and last Sunday your girl went to church for the very first time. Now I'm gonna go ahead and say this now for context, and so you guys know who I am. I don't know if I ever said this on the podcast, but my mom do. She grew up Jehovah witness so like all her life they were like practicing Jehovah witness. So my grandma, my auntie, like her whole side of him, like they went to the Kingdom Hall, worship Jehovah. Da, da, da, da da.

Speaker 1: 9:46

You know I don't really agree with it. You know I said, but you know, to each is learn. You know I'm not gonna say who's right, who's wrong. You know who's who's really, who's ain't. That, ain't my job.

Speaker 1: 9:56

But, um, so I've never been to church. The closest thing I've come to church is going to the Kingdom Hall. And the Kingdom Hall where people you know, where the Jehovah Witnesses you know, worship, it is nothing. It's Nothing like church. Okay, it's like and we're gonna get into it and then like the only other time, because we, me and Deanna used to have a good friend hey, friend I'm, oh, we just have a friend and I don't know her dad was like a deacon or pastor or something and they would like go to other churches and like talking stuff. So like we had went over their house one day and then they was all like, oh, we got to go to these visiting church and it was only like an hour and a half to and it was like a real small church, but it wasn't like it wasn't all of it. You know, we just kind of sat there and listened, you know, that was it, that was it. But other than that, I have never been to church. I don't know what. Go on, no, that I don't know, none of that. The only the only closest time I've come to church is TV, that's it.

Speaker 1: 10:53

So I had a friend, you know, a little high school friend, reach out to me, was I like, hey, babe, I've been thinking about you and I just wanted to know if you would like to go to church with me on Saturday. And I said, okay, fine, period, y'all go, cuz I, as a baby walking Christian, been wanting to go for a little bit. But I didn't know where church to go to and I didn't want to go by myself. So I said, yeah, girl, I'll go with you. So you know, I guess my clothes on, I rush and hurry up, get to get in the Uber because I'm a little late. I'm a little late, I don't see people, you know, and I didn't like that. I didn't want to be on couple of times because you know I try to be very prompt. You know I'm very on time. I hate to be late to anything and so I get there.

Speaker 1: 11:32

You know I couldn't find a church. I'm taking some time to say, hey girl, like um, where were you at? Where you at Cuz? I had told her the day before cuz. She had told me it was two different services. It was one at 10 am and there was one at 11 30.

Speaker 1: 11:45

Now y'all, I've been working a lot of nights, so not gonna lie around 10 o'clock, 10 am, I'm usually asleep. So I said you know, I'll go to the letter service. I said I'll be there at 1130. She said, ok, cool, I get there. And she's like, oh, it was a miscommunication. My bad, it was my fault, but the 1130 service is actually on Sunday. I said, ok, cool. She was like so do you want to come back on Sunday? Do you want to come back tomorrow? I said, yeah, I'll come back tomorrow. I have nothing else to do. Ok, fast forward. You know, because we ended up hanging out for the we hang out. We ended up hanging out catching up on the rest of that Saturday.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Fast forward, it's Sunday. She comes, picks me up. She comes, picks me up. We go to the church and you know, when I went there the day before, like she, she was like, do you want to, just, you know, stay around and meet some people? I said that's fine.

Speaker 1: 12:36

So I met, like the pastor, you know, met some other people in the congregation, you know, met some of her friends, that's in the church. And then when I was there I found out that one of my like my old high school, like coaches, like go to this church. And it was so interesting because I was like I always used to want to go to church because I knew she went, but I didn't ever want to ask because I was a scary hoe. So I was like you know, and I, you know it was very welcoming to come in there, you know, and know more than just one person in the church, and the people were really, really nice. So, fast forward, it's Sunday.

Speaker 1: 13:13

So I'm like she's like my friend. She's like they have like a little cafe where they sell snacks and donuts and stuff and carvey before they'd have their church service. So she's doing that and you know I didn't like is it called a sanctuary? Like I didn't like really want to enter like the sanctuary, like buy myself, like I wanted to wait for her. So I waited for her until they got done selling our snacks, packing it up. So by the time we actually enter it, they've already like started like singing a song and like talking and so like the seats are all kind of like filled up so it's like two seats, like when you first walk in, like on the end, so we just sit there on the end. So we're sitting there and all of a sudden everybody just starts. Everybody's already standing up. I mean, everybody's already standing up. Now, church supposed to start at 1130. When we got there, we got there early, but church started at 1130.

Speaker 1: 14:16

Y'all, it was club Jesus for like 30, 45 minutes, no bullshit. They praising the Lord, they jumping up and down, they singing this song, and the song and whatever song they singing is one of them. Good, them, good black Christian. You know, you know feel good songs. Like it's moving everybody in the room. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 14:40

I'm like, damn, they singing the hell out this song. I really wish that I could sing it with them because you know it's kind of lit in this mug. I want to sing the song, but I don't know the words. And so then I looked up, they had a TV up there. They had a TV up there with the lyrics. I said, okay, then I'm gonna read the lyrics. So next time I'm gonna catch you, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna jump in. So I'm gonna get you know, I'm gonna jump in. Right, I'm gonna jump in the song. Like, okay, here it comes, you know, cause it had quiet down. Like you know, it wasn't a words at that part. So I'm like, when they were started back up, I'm gonna jump in.

Speaker 1: 15:14

They started singing and the lyrics on the screen wasn't matching what they had just said and I said, damn, I can't sing a song. So, like you know and I'm not afraid to say what the fuck are you saying I'm not afraid to say, like I'm not one of those black people with like a lot of read them, like I'm just not that girl. Like you know, I very much so give you know, drunk baby. Or you know, a little white woman sometimes when I be dancing, you know, no offense to the white women, but you know, sometimes y'all be having the moves and it's no, it's no Tino shape, because I don't be having the moves you know.

Speaker 1: 15:48

So everybody in there I don't know how to you know groove to the motherfucking song because I don't dance. You know what I'm saying. I don't dance and like I don't know if I mean, you know it's giving swag, surfing that bitch, I ain't gonna hold you, it's it's, it's the vibe, like they turn the fuck up in that bitch, and I'm like, damn, you know what I'm saying. So I'm just shaking my head of shit, you know, motherfucking, like somebody's in a, like I'm finna, jump in the game of double digits. Like you know, I'm waiting for my turn, I'm waiting to get in that motherfucker. So I'm like all right.

Speaker 1: 16:21

So I'm like you know I'm looking and I'm also looking at everybody in here, like trying to see, like you know, how everybody's like reacting, like how everybody's like you know, you know like I'm I'm people watching, I'm observing everyone, how everybody else is taking it all in and, like I said, they lit for like 30, 45 minutes and so, like the song was extra long, the song was extra long, and so then the pastor gets up there and he starts talking and so, excuse me, the pastor gets up there and he starts talking and he says you know, he already been up here talking for a little bit, but it's kind of like it wasn't like like he was delivering the word, he was just all like just saying how God, how good God is. That's what they was talking about. God is good, this, this and that you know saying this and that you know I miss with it, you know. And so he, he has the microphone. He talking about oh, god is so good, I'm gonna pass the mic on in 60 seconds. I want you to tell me how good God is. I want you to tell me how good God is. So he passes the mic to this other man. The man gets the mic and he says no, no, no bullshit, no bullshit. He says and I ain't trying to and if you would say, I watch this, this is not to offend you, this is just my POV from this experience Okay, he gets the mic and he says excuse me, excuse me, it's not funny. It's not funny. Y'all, be for real, be fucking for real. He gets the mic and he says God is so good job, because and I don't want to get the details wrong, but it has been a couple of days, but I kind of remember it going something like this Okay, three, two, one go. He's like God is so good job.

Speaker 1: 18:05

You know, my pastor not my pastor but my sister was in a real bad accident and she was in a coma for a couple of months and the doctors was saying she didn't have no brain activity. They wasn't saying that she was brain dead, but she just didn't have no activity. And I just been really stressed out about it. And you know, just the other day, just yesterday, I got a phone call and my sister said brother, I'm still here. Y'all. When I heard that, and not to say God is in good, not to say that God is in real and that he cannot do miracles, because for sure it was a miracle, god blessed that family, like I love that. You know his sister was able to wake up, call her brother and say, baby, I'm still here. I liked that, I messed with that.

Speaker 1: 18:52

But from my POV, from my point of view, it gave no and no offense. It gave infomercial, you know, like how you go to sleep and you know when you was a kid you wake up and be on the church channel and they be like this is what God has done for me this, this, and it almost didn't seem real. And not to say them people is lying, because I don't think they lying, but it just was like I never seen nothing like that in my life. You know what I'm saying For somebody to get them, because it was just, it was the whole thing was just. I'm not one, I don't want to use the word weird, it just was different.

Speaker 1: 19:26

You know, for the pastor to be up there, you know, praise God, talking about God, he's saying the next 60 seconds, I want you to tell me how God, how good God is, go and then you know he get the mic and he telling them and everybody in the you know. And once he tells the story, when the system, you know, woke up the church, when the church went a shit, they, you know I'm saying they going crazy. And I'm like you know what I'm saying, cuz I'm just like what's going on? Like you know, like you know what's going on. But what's going on in this motherfucking light, you know that's lit, you know, shout out to all. I'm glad she doing, all right, but like it's, it's crazy, it's crazy. I'm like this is real, like what's going on, like that man, that man Does miracles. You hear me he be doing miracles. I'm just like, oh okay.

Speaker 1: 20:19

And so then, like People were really starting to feel that, like they were really feeling them like, and so my friend said that it is called bucking. I had no idea that that's what is called. You. When people catch the Holy Ghost and the Holy Spirit and they be jumping up and down and you know, shaking, they had like a vicious dog with rabies, like because that's how I look, y'all, you, those that do that, it don't look good. And so, like I said, I'm sitting on the end, like my friend is sitting on the left side, I'm sitting on the right, so I'm technically in it on the inside, but I'm basically on the end. But she, she had got up and she stood behind me because you know she likes to stand while she in church, because you, she's in show, I'm reluctant to sit. So she's standing up behind me, but I didn't know where she was at this point.

Speaker 1: 21:10

And so I see this guy, this, you know this little yellow man with locks, he get up and I see that you know he, he really feeling you know the Holy Spirit, you know he's, he's jumping up and down, he's shaking his head and shit. I said okay, okay, and so like he was doing it in his seat and keep in mind, this is a very, very small church and these, this, this church doesn't have pews like these aren't pews, these are chairs. They have chairs lined up in here. And so he steps, he like he comes from out of the aisle and he starts doing it like really, really, really hard and so like and he's not the only one doing it, it's like him and like five other people that's doing that in the church. And it's like when you see it kind of look like mini tornadoes going on, and I'm like I'm trying to keep, you know, my eyes. Now I don't want to study these people down, but I'm trying to see, like, what's going on with them and so, like the little light skinned man, a little yellow man, he starts going Crazy, like he start going extra, extra hard, jumping up and down, shaking his head, shaking his arms real, real hard. And apparently I didn't know this that when people do stuff like that, like it'd be other members in the church or they peoples that like kind of hold them or like try to guide them to like, you know, not to hurt themselves or other people. He was going so Motherfucking hard that he fell into the chairs and almost fell into my motherfucking lap.

Speaker 1: 22:42

I Was scared than the motherfucker for the rest of the service because every time that little yellow motherfucker got up I didn't know what was gonna happen. I Said what the fuck? I said where am I? Where my friend got me at, where is we at? What's going on? What's going on? Why is he jumping around like that? Why is he falling into church? He ain't just falling to one turn, he fell into like a group of church. They all got pushed around. Like I said, he almost fell in my lap, my lap, y'all, my motherfucking lap. So I'm scared like a motherfucker because I'm just like what's wrong with him, like what is? What is he doing? Is he okay? Like it's often the call to him last, like cuz.

Speaker 1: 23:33

Like I said, I've never seen anybody even catch that mug like that and Then like to see it food like, and they going hard like that. That's some scary shit they don't need. They need to tell you that. They need to tell you that before you walk up in there. I did not know that they gets down like that. I had no idea. So Okay, so you know, like you know he, you know they get him together like two, two people, you know, grab him up and you know he's still going hard. You know he's still going hard. I'm like like I'm trying to and I'm just sitting in my seat like trying to figure out, like Do I need to move? Or like you know what's going on and I'm not like I ain't trying to get hit. But you know, I mean I guess if it's in the name of Jesus it's cool, but I still don't want to get hit. You know what I mean, cuz I'm just like hold on, hold on we, that it has stressed me out because I didn't know that they get.

Speaker 1: 24:33

He was turned up like he was really from Augusta and I'm and you know, I'm glad that he was able to feel it the way that he felt it. But you know I want you to feel it and not Falling to people. I don't want you to feel it. You know you hurt yourself and others. I just need everybody to be conscious of what's going on, who around them and what's around them cuz shit.

Speaker 1: 24:56

And so, like I said, they also had like a guest speaker, guest preacher, come up. So you know the regular pastor. You know he didn't do his. You know what he usually does and so you know the guest got. The guest got up there and he gave us the word and you know that was my favorite part of it. You know I'm like I told my friend. I said once I learned the words to the song, like that might be cool. I don't like all that bucking, I don't like all of that. So now next time I know where to sit, you know, close to a wall where ain't a whole lot of space for you to be doing all that. You know, not on the end, probably on the inside, like far on the inside, close to the wall, like I said, like where you can't be doing all that moving. Um, and yeah, I said, and then like one thing that I didn't know the whole time when I was in church is what to do with my hands, because there's a lot of things that you can do with your hands.

Speaker 1: 25:52

Like they be waving or they be like go ahead, go ahead, like you know waving, or they they'll sway that mug. You know that's where the moth back and forth. Like they waving goodbye or they'll. He said when he said open your hands up and receive God's goodness. You know that's not exactly what he said, but it's something along those lines, you know. So I'm just like okay, so how do I hope? How do I open my hands up? How do I receive God's love? You know what I'm saying. Is it like this, where it's like you know they facing each other? Or is it like this Like I didn't know what to do with my hands, the whole service?

Speaker 1: 26:28

So I'm like watching everybody trying to see what they're doing with their hands. Because I'm like you know what I'm saying, cause I don't want to look like I'm not engaged, cause I am. I mean, I don't really care, but I kind of just I want to look like I belong. You know what I'm saying, cause I'm feeling like I don't belong and I'm feeling outside-ish, I'm feeling a little excluded, cause I don't, cause y'all know what's going on in here and I don't. So I'm trying to, like you know, look like I know what the hell is going on and I'm moving my hands and sh I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do with my hands. So I'm just like, okay, okay, I didn't know. I was like and I'm like I asked my friend when we got in the car, when we left, I said what do you do with your hands? Like I don't. I'm trying to and I'm trying to do every little bit of everything to see what feels right to me, but it just was like it, just it just wasn't me. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 27:21

And then, like you know, it's a lot of and black churches. I, you know I'm going to say black churches, cause I ain't never been in a white church, so I can't even say that but it just seemed like it's a lot of up and down. Y'all stand up, y'all stand up, y'all sit down, y'all sit down. Let me tell you something I ain't feeling to be, you know, doing jumping jacks in that church. Y'all excuse me, I'm not. I'm not going to do it the next time I go.

Speaker 1: 27:43

I'm sitting in the corner and I'm sitting. I'm not feeling to be doing all that up and down. That's how you get high. I don't have no fan. And then a whole bunch of people had fans in there. See, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't prepare no fan. It is hot in here. Everybody jumping up and down, doing, you know doing a whole lot of stuff. You know making a room hiding shit, you know, and I'm gonna have no fan.

Speaker 1: 28:07

So I'm not like, I'm not feeling to be up and down, up and down, up and down. You know I love God and I love Jesus. You know they're my road dogs for sure. They know how I feel about them and they know I know how they feel about me. But I'm not feeling to get up in there and not act like me. You know what I'm saying. I'm not feeling. That wasn't. You know. I'm not feeling to act like you know, not myself. So next time I go I'm going to just sit there and if I want to stand up, I'm going to stand up. But if you tell me to stand up and I don't feel like standing up, I'm not going to do it. Not going to do it. I'm not going to be doing the up and down in this month. I'm not going to be doing up and down in here.

Speaker 1: 28:44

Yeah, then, like um, the people, the. And then it was another. It was another lady, she, because she was really feeling what the pastor was saying, to get speaker, to get speaker, was saying, and she got up and started bucking and she was a bigger woman. I say y'all better grab them, y'all better grab them, y'all better grab them, because I ain't going down like that, we ain't, I'm not going out like that, we're not doing that. And so you know, um, it started at 1130. I didn't leave that church till like 240. It was a very long service and then, even after service, like I still had to wait, because after the end of the service they sales next again and I was waiting for my friend, so we didn't lead to like 240 ish or something.

Speaker 1: 29:34

You know, like I said, and so she was all like you know, how do you feel? Like you know, you don't have to lie to me, you can tell me exactly how you feel, dog, how you feel about it. And I said, well, I didn't like All that jumping around, I didn't like all of it up and down, but I like the word, what he actually had to say about God and Jesus and how you should, you know, live your life. I messed with it, I felt with it. That's what I'm actually here for. I'm really not here for everything else. I don't want everything. That's why, if I go, I'm not gonna people, I'm not gonna participate in all that other stuff. I'm here for the word. I don't want to know how that makes me feel. I want to apply that to my life. I'm not feeling me doing all this stuff. I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1: 30:12

And she was okay. I feel it because she was like, and she was telling me like when she first started going to church. It was an adjustment for her too and I didn't understand when she had said that yesterday. But I understand now because it's one thing to worship God and Jesus privately in your own home and how you do it, but then when you go to church, everybody Praises and worship God outwardly. So you like, and not just a little peep, didn't have no cool to the corn, but that's what it'd be feeling like, just a little bit. No, where's your cool to the corn? But whole time is you, you know, you the one, you know they come here and they do this every Sunday. You know this. What they do, this is not what you do. So, yeah, what the church, you know I enjoyed it, despite what one may think. I enjoyed the word that and I'm gonna be very clear on that. I enjoyed the word. I would go back. Like I said, the people are very nice. They were very welcome in Um and I want to go back to hear the regular pastor that you know whose church it is talk. I wanted her him talk, you know, because, like I said, I went in there was a guest speaker. So yeah, that was my experience.

Speaker 1: 31:20

Like you know, I am a Christian girlie, you know I try to live my life right and people were telling me, like you, it sound like you was a good old Baptist church. And you know, my friend was telling me look, I'm not finished, I'm not finna, break down each one of these names. I don't know all of them, I don't know it is Baptist Dennis mow or this, a moment in some other ones. A whole bunch of group of Christians basically. And she was a saying this isn't just like a Baptist church, it's like different types of Christians in this one church. That's why everybody don't be doing all it. And I said, okay, that makes sense, and In my, my car, but it's like, yeah, that just sounds like a regular Baptist church. They do that a lot of Baptist churches. And I said I don't know, I didn't know they did all of that. But yeah, that was my experience. You know she was, she was a key key. She was very different. They also had like a six o'clock service somewhere else, I said, no, I ain't gonna be able to make that one, because I got to take this one in. I Gotta take this one in, okay, yo, my computer is dying so I'm gonna have to see this one up, hey, okay. So For my wise words segment, the song of the week is spin that back by 42 Doug.

Speaker 1: 32:32

Let me tell you something. I think I said it last week, but I don't remember ETSG and 42 Doug has been getting me through in the gym. You know, I have not been in the gym all these week, my your business. I Been going through some times. But anyway, it's something about spin that back by 42 Doug.

Speaker 1: 32:50

It make me. It make me want to go get all the money in the world, all the money, and go to the Jewish store, go to the Jewel and be ice, though Fuck out Like it makes me want to take a little van, put all my people's in it and we're going to go get us some change. You know I'm saying Cubans and shit. And the thing is I don't even know why it make me feel like that, because I only I don't to me if I had a whole bunch of money and I was finna go buy some jewelry. Now this could be. This also could change with time, but I'm not a Cuban girl. It gives tennis. I'm a tennis girl, you know. I'm saying a little good tennis bracelet, you know, tennis necklace. That's what it gives, that's. It ain't never gave big chunky like name Cuban, like Like maybe what I? You know, I don't want to say that I won't get it, but I kind of feel like I won't get that because you know that's not for me, that's not me. But yeah, that's all make me want to go in the jewelry and drop a bag in the Jewish store. That's how I feel.

Speaker 1: 33:43

So y'all need to go listen to it. Spin that back by 42. Doug is a great little Bob and I love you. I love 42. I'm starting to like him. He sounds different. Yeah, daddy, let me stop playing with y'all. But all right, y'all. I want to thank y'all for listening. If you are on listening platforms, please make sure that you rate the podcast and leave a review if you're watching, like, comment and subscribe. Click the notification bell so you know when we upload around here y'all, and y'all tell me in the comments If y'all had a similar church experience.

Speaker 1: 34:17

What's our favorite part of church? Something. Drop some church emojis or something I don't know. Put something down there. Let's talk about it. And make sure y'all share me in your group chats. It has to be three or more. What I say to a more than a no group chat. Don't be gatekeeping me now. We got some new subscribers. Shout out to the new subscribers I hope that y'all stick and stay around. Love y'all. Y'all my new baby jokers, y'all my new babies. And I love you. Go and watch from episode one. Catch up and see where the man is. You know I feel like this podcast shows a lot of Evolving in my life. You know I've changed this woman. You know I'm not as reckless like I used to be. You know I still talk a little crazy, but I don't be. You know I've changed in the past two years. I'm growing and I'm growing up, guys. But anyway, I Want to thank y'all for listening, I want to thank y'all for watching and I'm just trying to change the world, one joke at a time.